Big Leaguer

Chains & Dress Shirt = Success

One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't play baseball growing up, because I would have been pro. There is little to no doubt about it. I retired before I really gave myself a chance. I was like five when I put down the glove. Left the Phillies organization in a lurch, I am sure of it. The T-ball league probably took several years to recover as well. I could have been special...  really special. I have every quality you need to be a good ball player, but mostly I look good in a ball cap.

Anyway, I have been making up for the loss of time. In order to quickly ascend to where I could have been I joined a reputable slow pitch softball team. You have to start somewhere... Part of restarting my career was playing the part. You see, I also got a lot of gold chains to play ball. Ordered them off Amazon. I am sure when you watched a MLB game you also couldn't help but notice that some big time big leaguers have necklaces. I took note of that and I particularly liked the gold chains the true ballers would wear. This was a novel idea for me. In other sports I played you couldn't wear jewelry. And people think baseball is boring; baseball is pretty neat!

Despite popular belief, that I was under as well, gold chains actually do not improve player performance. At least they haven't helped me. If anything I think about them more than I do the game I am playing in. The fans though... the fans love it. So do my teammates. Its a rallying cry for us! It unifies our team. Who doesn't love watching a full grown adult playing slow pitch softball in Anywhere, USA with gaudy gold chains around his neck? Tell me who!? Everyone loves that ishhhhhh.

I have to admit something though. Part of me likes wearing the chains. I find myself keeping them on for a couple days after the game. I don't mind the hint of gold shining through or popping out of my shirt. People notice and always comment. I wear a chain cause it shows people something about me. The chains aren't an accessory, its a defining characteristic of who I am. People think they got me figured out when I got my chains on.... they haven't got a clue. Say what you want, like, "Huh, I didn't think you were a gold chain kind of a guy," or, "Is that a baby angel?". All of that is just noise and I can't hear it over my gold chains screaming, "BALLER".

I'll be a Big Leaguer someday. Don't you think otherwise. I already look the part.

Run Home Jacks: Opening Day

I don't know why I was nervous, but I was. I had butterflies well before our first softball game. We are the cleverly named, and hopefully talented, Run Home Jacks. I had played softball before, but was regulated to the catcher position, i.e. I am a liability. It was safer there for me and the team. I wouldn't make an errors... hopefully. This year is different. I have been going to practice (yes, practice) with some of my friends during the week to prepare and enhance my skills. Taking grounders, pop flies, batting practice, the whole bit. It has been eye opening and painful. The season started almost as quickly as we decided to form a team and I suddenly didn't feel prepared. I was starting at second base and didn't own a cup, let alone when I was supposed to cover the base.

We created the team as an excuse to get our group of friends together once a week. Life gets busy and we aren't all into dungeons and dragons (anymore at least.. not since Andy decided to cast a wicked spell on me), so it can be challenging to see everyone often. And who doesn't want their own custom baseball jersey?

not the actual line up... this was an early lineup

After deciding, hey, lets make a team! we had to decide what league to be in. We also wanted to be in a competitive division because -  how fun is it to beat up on terrible competition? Not much. And we felt confident that the Upper Rec League would be suitable for our group of friends. It wasn't the "Skilled" league or the normal "Rec" league.

We did look sharp in our uniforms. I quickly compared ourselves to the competition. Their average age had to have been close to 40, with only three youngsters bringing it down. I thought we would kill them. As the home team we took our defensive positions. Whack, whack, whack. They were up 4 runs and we somehow got out of the inning. I would be batting third, which would be an epic mistake. I took two balls and then struck out - looking. My first at bat was a backwards K. That would be a foreshadow of things to come.

We couldn't hit. There was some bright spots, but compared to the old men, who could rake, we couldn't get it out of the infield. It was rough. I think we lost by more than 7 runs. That was opening day. Luckily I ate plenty of oranges my wife sliced for the team in the dugout. That was fun...