Yogging

I haven't ran in a long time, I mean, I haven't ran more than a mile in a long time. There was this point in my life when I went to the gym everyday because I was "preparing" for "marriage", which obviously didn't work out. So, I gave it up. Running. The gym. Trying to look really good. That whole none sense. Now, I let the wolverine hair bloom on my upper arms. Very soon it will become a cape. I will transform from man to mutant to superhero. Pretty sweet...It is a liberating feeling though, running. Its like that feeling when you dump a girl, or when you buy some sweet new sneakers, or when you punch a person in the face. The problem with all of those feelings is that you immediately regret them after you have made the choice. You end up missing the girl. You realize that high tops are extremely annoying. And when you hit someone hard, it hurts your hand. What I am trying to say, in a weird way, is that some things need to stay in place. Stay with me...

The hardest part about running is the beginning. It doesn't matter how much I've stretched, or hydrated myself, I almost die one minute into it. I feel like my sides are going to rip open. My lungs feel like gerbils are in them, scratching their way out. My legs become like bags of sand. Painful, those first few steps, but soon happy will you be (Yoda said that). I just keep telling myself, "you'll catch your wind." Then a bunch of saliva gremlins decide to free themselves from the catacombs of my throat. I hate it. I would rather audition to be on a children show. In the end though, I feel like a winner. I feel like NIKE should be filming me right then because I am dripping with sweat. It is that real and intense. Puddles people. YOU MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE!!! I just wonder how Adam felt when he ran first. UTTERLY CONFUSED. I still am.