I think it was the American Moses, who I love to quote, who said that 'justification is the grease on the sliding pole to hell.' Could be wrong. It would be something he said though.
One of my New Year's resolutions was to quit cursing. So far, not so good. What used to be just a joke has turned into a habit. I remember when I played football that I had a similar problem. One of my teammates told me I had the filthiest mouth on the team. That was a low point for me... I mean, to still remember that interaction? I usually forget everything.
I know how others sound when they cuss. Ignorant. Classless. Crude. Obtuse.
To be honest flip or shiz does ZERO justice to how you feel. But that is just me justifying it. I've tried to break this habit (again, me justifying it). Mowgli used to slap me in the mouth after every time a filthy word came out. I didn't like that. Ever. I still don't know what to do, because when I watch Kevin Hart he makes cursing an art (video contains bad words, obviously).
I hope I can catch myself before I slide all the way down. To hell that is. I am going to hell. Shit.
Mashed up.
Game of the month.
The next time someone tries to explain a book/movie/person, really anything, they usually try to match that... noun to another noun that would help you, the listener, better understand. Like, the book 1984 is kinda like a Brave New World... or a short man is always 5'10". The fun part is making your own connection, especially when it's outlandish. You just take a piece of what they say and just butcher it with a semi close parallel.
For example, today a work this kid, Moses, was trying to explain the FX TV show Archer. Moses was like," The show is animated, but pretty crude humor. It's really funny. It's similar to The Venture Brothers." Then I was like, "So, it's more like American Dad with some Ren and Stimpy mixed in, but with a familiar feel of gym talk." Moses was like, "No. Not at all." But Moses is a quick dude. He responded, "It's more like Home Alone vs 24. Except the main character is like Rick Perry." Nicely done Moses. Nicely done.
Later that night a girl was explaining a book to me. All I heard was something about a large box, a maze, people fighting for their life, and love. She said it was like The Hunger Games. I retorted with Harry Potter 4, 2001: Space Odyssey, and a Skrillex concert. Needless to say, she quit telling me about books that she reads.
.... Think of the possibilities.... maybe this games sucks... you just have to be in the right mood. The key is to just keep making comparisons, over and over, just to make other people frustrated. Just piss people off. That's the point of all of these games.
The next time someone tries to explain a book/movie/person, really anything, they usually try to match that... noun to another noun that would help you, the listener, better understand. Like, the book 1984 is kinda like a Brave New World... or a short man is always 5'10". The fun part is making your own connection, especially when it's outlandish. You just take a piece of what they say and just butcher it with a semi close parallel.
For example, today a work this kid, Moses, was trying to explain the FX TV show Archer. Moses was like," The show is animated, but pretty crude humor. It's really funny. It's similar to The Venture Brothers." Then I was like, "So, it's more like American Dad with some Ren and Stimpy mixed in, but with a familiar feel of gym talk." Moses was like, "No. Not at all." But Moses is a quick dude. He responded, "It's more like Home Alone vs 24. Except the main character is like Rick Perry." Nicely done Moses. Nicely done.
Later that night a girl was explaining a book to me. All I heard was something about a large box, a maze, people fighting for their life, and love. She said it was like The Hunger Games. I retorted with Harry Potter 4, 2001: Space Odyssey, and a Skrillex concert. Needless to say, she quit telling me about books that she reads.
.... Think of the possibilities.... maybe this games sucks... you just have to be in the right mood. The key is to just keep making comparisons, over and over, just to make other people frustrated. Just piss people off. That's the point of all of these games.
Jealous
I got some issues man, some real issues, with my homies girlfriends. I don't hate em, just urked. I hate getting replaced, and that is exactly what has happened. I went from the starting lineup to the bench, but unlike my counterpart World Peace, I'm no team player; I am upset. Green with envy of these girls, that they get to spend all that time with 'ma boyz'. What do they have that I don't? Girls have some great qualities and advantages. I can admit that. One thing that I will not accept is they can replace me.
First of all, they are not more fun than me. For real, how could they be? Girls aren't funny/fun, sure there are some exceptions (Tina Fey, Kristen Wigg, and......). Sure, girls can be clever, make you chuckle/laugh quietly to yourself, but they'll never make you lose your shorts in laughter. Ever. As for fun... oh my gosh. Kissing could fill that void for awhile, but that fades, and then what do you have? Zero fun, that's what.
Secondly, the boys have to alter their personality for them. For instance, they gotta watch their tongue, pretend that they don't fart, that they actually want to watch lame TV, and diet Coke is good. C'mon man. That's not you. You love to say the B word. It is funny. You have the worst smelling farts ever, and you love to share your brand. And I know you would NOT choose to watch shows that are similar or are like: The Bachelor. As for the Diet Coke crap. Really dude? Really?
Finally, she is cutting into our time. You know, the time where we "do stuff". Now all of the sudden you can't play ball, or you can't come with me to do hood rat things. Instead, I do hood rat things on my own, and look like a real tool. I pulled off of a sweet gig the other day, and guess what? I still haven't told you guys. Then I went to a movie by myself the other night. You know how depressing that was? I had to go to the middle of the theater by myself then I left before the credits even started.
You have to take what I say with a grain of salt. I'm just super ornery right now. Forgive me.
First of all, they are not more fun than me. For real, how could they be? Girls aren't funny/fun, sure there are some exceptions (Tina Fey, Kristen Wigg, and......). Sure, girls can be clever, make you chuckle/laugh quietly to yourself, but they'll never make you lose your shorts in laughter. Ever. As for fun... oh my gosh. Kissing could fill that void for awhile, but that fades, and then what do you have? Zero fun, that's what.
Secondly, the boys have to alter their personality for them. For instance, they gotta watch their tongue, pretend that they don't fart, that they actually want to watch lame TV, and diet Coke is good. C'mon man. That's not you. You love to say the B word. It is funny. You have the worst smelling farts ever, and you love to share your brand. And I know you would NOT choose to watch shows that are similar or are like: The Bachelor. As for the Diet Coke crap. Really dude? Really?
Finally, she is cutting into our time. You know, the time where we "do stuff". Now all of the sudden you can't play ball, or you can't come with me to do hood rat things. Instead, I do hood rat things on my own, and look like a real tool. I pulled off of a sweet gig the other day, and guess what? I still haven't told you guys. Then I went to a movie by myself the other night. You know how depressing that was? I had to go to the middle of the theater by myself then I left before the credits even started.
You have to take what I say with a grain of salt. I'm just super ornery right now. Forgive me.
Hopeless, according to... everyone.
I am 24... In this Mormon culture I am ancient, especially considering that I am getting close to that age of 25. That's a bad number to hit when you are single. Brigham Young said that a man who was 25 and unmarried is a menace (A person or thing that is likely to cause harm; a threat or danger) to society. I am certain that I will become another menace. I do not know how I've managed to remain single in this fast relationship world. I'm such a fool. I should've been in a hurry and married the first broad I dated. [I hope you are catching the sarcasm.]
Let be real though, I do feel like my age marks me. I am hesitant to tell people, because I can see them hold back their gasp of shock. Then, their shock, turns into matchmaking. They wanna fix me, like I am their service project. If they could just line me up with Ms. Right, then maybe they can sleep at night, cause I am their responsibility.
This is a real concern for those who love me; my family, bless their hearts, are very worried, and I get that. My mother thought I would be married six months after my mission. Phew, thank heavens I did do that. No offense Melissa, but.. yeah.... I am the last member of my family who has yet to be married (Steven gets married this June). So, naturally, everyone wants to set me up. Just this last Christmas break I had a former young men's teacher corner me and try to set me up with a "girl that would be perfect for me." He taught me when I was 16. He obviously KNOWS me.
Call me jaded, cynical, whatever, the blind date thing-- getting set up, is a farce. It doesn't work. I can't think of a single blind date that resulted in a lasting and meaningful relationship. They have all been casualties, train wrecks, just bad. Maybe it's user error, but I doubt that. I am not saying that those dates and interactions weren't helpful, they have been, but the whole match making is doomed from the beginning (the expectations from both parties lead to a superficial interest and involvement).
I'm over it. So, no thanks Uncle Rod, I don't wanna date your egotistical niece. No thanks Brother Sorenson, I'll pass on your friend. No thanks Mom, I love you, but it ain't gunna happen. It might be easier to have a sign, "Unmarried. 24. Undecided profession. Loves the Lakers. High blood pressure. Selfish."
bury my shell at wounded knee.
I got a concussion snowboarding. I lost my memory of that day and the previous two. All I had was my emotions. I felt so good. Life was good. I honestly now can say I know what vibes are... and yes, they are real. I didn't have a care in the world. Now, with school going on, and drama from my baby's mama, I wish I got hit on the head again. I want to use this medium to thank Chad, aka Golden/ Soup. He nursed me back to health, while showing me how good he is at Super Nintendo and Ping-Pong. Thank you Chaddy. I love you.
As for the picture, well, I guess I wanted to see what it would be like to be a white wannabe gangsta. It didn't last.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)