Cold shoulder.

 Besides being a song by Adele, that everyone should listen to/ like it, I've been getting a cold shoulder from a girl I barely know!

My monster of an Uncle, Rodney, suggested that I should date one of his nieces. No relation. Again, she is not related to me. No, she is not. NO. Nope. Uh-uh. Neva.

He said she was a "10", and that I shouldn't let the grass grow underneath her feet (whatever that means, I don't deal with fertilizer). Rod said that he talked me, made me sound good... so he lied... and anyone can find that out (thanks facebook for making my life transparent)....My uncle then gave me her number. Before I could call her, which should have been immediately, I got a call the next day from my uncle asking me if I had called. He followed up with me because a) this girl is awesome and wants me badly or b) he is worried sick about me. Which leads me to side note....

My family is truly worried about me, not because I am Ute (that does relate to their worries), but because I am not married. I am 24 and single. This is information about me, this doesn't conclude that I will be forever alone. That's not knowledge. Read a book. Then you'll get some knowledge. But I am getting constantly haggled about dating and people are trying to set me up. Call it what you want, I find it obnoxious, just like Tim Tebow. He is really annoying. Back to the story.

I call her. No answer. Hmmmmk. I am thinking. Why play hard to get? I mean, your aunt and unlce, okay, fine OUR aunt and uncle tried to set this up. Can't be a bad thing, right? It's legal! I let it go, kinda, as much as I can. So I don't. I fester.
Then a week later I text her. I was a little bugged that she never returned my call. Wouldn't you be? She texts back saying she is terrible at communication and all that monkey business (an idiom for being a liar). I give her the benefit of the doubt and wait till I am back in Utah to call. I do. She doesn't pick up. Pissed. Me. Off. She responds to my texts, that say stuff like, 'why are you bein lame? C'mon. Be real.' Because I ain't asking a girl out on a date over text. I call her two more times than I ever should have. Why? Pride. The whole thing didn't make sense to me. 

What kind of a person doesn't answer the phone? That was rhetorical, but I'll answer it for you, people without hands or manners! What kind of girl doesn't give a mercy date? Again, I'll take this one, a mean one. This affair was set up by OUR aunt and uncle. This was like an invite to Christmas party. All she had to do was show up. Actually, she just had to be picked up. This was more like me coming over to sing Christmas carols to her. I was asking to sing songs about Christmas... Alas, I gave up the ghost.

I can't wait till my uncle sees me and ask, "Well, my boy, how is my niece?" I will look up, gulp my confidence down, and say, "I never took her out." He will look at me, frown a bit, furrow his brow, and then say, "huh." That will be the end of our conversation and relationship. Thanks cold shoulder girl.

I like this. Thehe

Flying Front Kick to the FACE!

This video is awesome. 

Iced... Part II

Notice how my date is taking the picture?

It is high time that I just come out and admit it. All I really write about is girls. Fine. That is what this blogs theme is. Some have the theme of pictures, others cleverness, or even political thoughts. Mine = girls. Sorry, young women. In a way, this is the theme of my life. I am searching for the woman of my dreams, one that I don't deserve. *Sigh*. Now, coming out and admitting that I am on this search may make some squirm. But it's the truth. I am done coasting. I want my life to move on. To enter a new chapter in my life... at least that I what I am saying now. And this is why....

Dating sucks. This is no new revelation to anyone who has attempted to progress in this game. Getting girls numbers causes me to get ubber nervous. First dates make me nauseous. Getting to know a stranger is a challenge. Then they end up being a dead end in a road, or worse, a hole in my heart. Cynical view, yes. There is truth to this. (Que the music, preferably some slow jams.) All I really want is a wife. There I said it. Someone I can confide in. Someone that will be on my team all the time (look at Edward and Bella----> AWESOME), rooting me on for success, and helping me through failures. Gosh dang, I want a woman that loves me for me. This sounds super dumb (and corny... super corny), but I want to be loved. And I, here we go, want to love some back. There, the cat is out of the bag. Let's move on, cause it got really weird just now.

Last week my buddies decide to plan a date night. Remember I am still in this happy go lucky "lets go on dates and just have fun". I ask a girl, Rose, she is pretty and is fun to flirt with. I ask her days in advance. She agrees to come to this date night. "Great," I think, "No pressure now. I have a date. No one will be jawing at me to get a date." It comes to the date night. She knows. There is NO doubt that she knows, we talked about it the day before, in class. I text her, just to open dialogue, to let her know when I will pick her up. Mistake, I know (see death by texting). No response. I decide she must be in class. I give it an hour. Then I remember my own personal experience with girls and texting. They ALWAYS have their damn phones and texting is retarded. I call her. Rings out. Hmmm. Weird. I put on the brakes. Let it go, let her figure it out. The time arrives, and nothing, not a peep, no smoke signal. She is pulling a Bobby Fischer, Magiver, wicked witch act, she is going to ICE me. At first I am pissed. My pride is hurt. Ego damaged. Self esteem bruised. Then, my homies come over....

I am chilling on the couch, eating some carb filled foods, shirt off, crumbs littering my stomach, watching a movie that reminds me of how a man should act in dire times: Gladiator. (Thank heavens for Russell Crowe.) Some of the crew rolls in and tell me their unsuccessful bid to get dates as well. I can't help but laugh and let the muscle in my body ease up. Blastoff tells me how this girl blows him off with homework. Then another doesn't respond to his text until its too late. I hear tibits about how some of the others got iced with LAME excuses, but The People's story takes the cake. He asks this girl. Not sure how he met her. Doesn't matter really. He asks her out. The day of the date, like hours till we are a 'go for launch', he gets a text. (See how dumb texting is! Just a way for people to avoid being real. UGH!) The texts something like, "Hey, I am kinda not single anymore." Um what? Kinda not single...? Within 12 hours of being asked out on date she is hitched. Shoot, I bet it was facebook official within minutes.

The night turns into just us brothers kicking it. Having a good time, like always. The next day I get a text. I hope by now you are disgusted with texting as much as I am. It is from...what is her name again...Rose. Ah, I had to scroll up to remember what pseudonym I gave her. That is how memorable I guess she is. Anyways, it is a long text.
 "Hey, did you call me yesterday? I dropped my phone in the toilet. I couldn't see who was calling, the screen was black. I just got my replacement phone from Verizon...." I don't really remember the rest, you get the point. This alibi is full proof... Yeah, right.

 I see some major holes in this story. If a phone is fully immersed in water, a toilet, it will not work. Water damage is fatal. I am a little surprised that it fell in a toilet. I guess I usually am on my phone doing all sorts of stuff near my open toilet. Texting. Calling. Just gaming it up. Sometimes I throw my phone in the air and catch it just before it hits the water. Really cool game. Like Russian roulette..... Wait, the screen was black. Yeah, cannot answer my phone if I don't know who the heck is calling me. The screen is BLACK! Then again, if the phone is working, why not call the dude who asked you out and let him know that you are going to stand him up? That is too considerate. Too classy. You have a reputation to maintain.... which is improving ever so much.

Let's give her a break. We are being too hard. The phone, if it did survive the fall to the poop bowl, may not have been able to make calls. She didn't know my number. Oops. She has roommates and friends that know my number. Huh. Another inquiry comes to mind, you just got a replacement phone... again, using a friend's phone to be polite is too much to ask. Verizon doesn't have rollover minutes. Too much to ask really. Just too much. Come on David. This is the 21 century. You are behind the time. Chivarly is dead. Being cool is old fashioned.

When I see her again I try not to show that I am a little put off by her lameness. I find it extremely interesting that she doesn't show me her "new" phone, and acts all awkward about it. She blushes and I have a slight hunch that she is lying. She looks too uncomfortable. I try not to probe. Then I ask... She says, "The replacement phone looks just like the old one..." I bet it does. All the same scratches and everything. Cell phone companies are trying a new thing. They are actually selling phones with scratches and normal wear and tear. Just like popular pants. Neat huh? I thought so. That is why I am going to get a iPhone that has a huge crack in it!
Do I believe her? No. Will I give Rose another chance? When Robin Williams changes his name to Jackass 3D. But David, that will never happen... I know. That is the point...

Iced.

There are some things that you have to go through in life that you'd rather not happen. For instance: Forgetting that you no longer use diapers. Realizing that Santa is fake. Puberty. Three hours of church. Schooling. But at the end of the road, you come out a better person.-- Suddenly you can hold your bladder. Mom and Dad are that much cooler when they buy you that gift. Your voice no longer squeaks. You feel a lot better after church. And a better paying job never hurts.

Lets try an exercise. I am going to write a list of words. I want you to read them, and think to yourself, "How do these words or expressions make me feel?" Easy enough. -----Accepted. Granted. Accomplished. Made it. Success. Hit the shot. BOOMSHOCKOLACA! YES!
How do you feel? Good? I hope so. I have another list.-- Denied. Shut down. Turned down. No. Rejected. Sorry. Iced. How do you feel now? Like a pile of bricks? Poop bricks? Yeah, I thought so.

I have been getting iced a lot lately. I don't know what the deal is. I know I was going to let the women run after me, but that just hasn't been happening. I don't know what the problem is, but it is haunting me in my sleep. I had a dream last night about one of my ex-girlfriends. It was an odd thing seeing her. I asked her, like she was some kind of an oracle, what the problem was. Why was I getting iced down so much? I don't remember all she said, there was a lot. She told me it was because I wasn't that good looking. I looked like a creeper sometimes, with my scowl and such. And finally, because I have bad breath. To say the least, I have been extremely self conscience of all of those things now. I think I may need to do something cooler with my hair, pluck some eyebrows (might help me not look so creepy), and invest in some serious toothpaste and mouth wash.

Summer