I've started a bad habit, excessive high fives. I don't know how or when I fell into this trap, but it has been hard to buck. It usually happens when I feel awkward. For example, when I don't know when to hug someone, I raise my hand and nod to them, begging them to put me out of my misery. Ask Burkalicious about high fives.
This past weekend, I was down in St. G. There was a little church gathering go on. I saw this kid give everyone he met a high five. Adults, his friends, men, girls, himself. He was beaming ear to ear. It was his moment, owning the group, making everyone feel better with those palm touches. Yeah! DAP me! DAP ME!
Come on... who high fives a 45 year old woman? Up top sister! Down low, my 56 year senior, that I don't have a real relationship with!
Alright, maybe I am too harsh, but I saw myself in this dude, and that did not sit right with me. No more. No. More.
Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts
Notes....
I have thought about doing this, but who has the time to hand write a note and then put it on the car? So, I have decided that I will type out a few for future purposes. Contact me if you are interested in getting some.
Something Interesting
Let me give you a recent example... based on true events.
The intros are going around in a circle and everyone is new. The first kid starts, "My name is Robert. I am from Germany," Already more interesting than me. "And I have been to every country in Europe." Thanks Robert you have set the bar extremely high.... "My name is Chris and I am double majoring in economics and finance, and something interesting about me is that I play the accordion." I can play the Mission Impossible hook on the piano with one hand... I need to think of something fast. Maybe they will come back to me if I pass? Who passes on this? Losers do. "Hi, I am Ashley. I go to school at the U. And something interesting about me is... I uh....Oh good, she is struggling too! Good. Please think of something so dull... every two years I cut all my hair off for locks of love. I've done it since I was eight. Are you freaking kidding me.
At this point I am racking my brain for anything. I peed my pants in second grade. The only high school prom I went to was with my sister. I do not mind eating onions whole. I suck at math, all of it. NO! NO! NO! It isn't "tell me something weird and embarrassing about yourself."
It is somehow my turn, just in the same way that 6 is after 5. "My name is David." Hold on, you just started. I thought you were going to crawl under something...great... well don't stop now. GO! Say something from that dumb mouth..."I am from a small town in Nevada...." Clap for the kid from Nevada everyone...
"Yeah... I am Jeffery, I... I am from Nevada? That is what you spewed from your lips. Nice brain drain.... and I built my own car from junk yard parts. Turning my ears off now. Time to think of interesting things that you could lie about.
After I am home I think of several good answers. I have killed an aligator, I have chased wild cows, I fought as the main event for a school sponsored and organized fundraising boxing match, I have directed and starred in my own movie productions, my favorite food is home made soft tacos, my right ear is a half inch longer than my left ear, or even I have caught a seagull while wake-boarding.
Do not find yourself in a bind like mine. Think of things beforehand. Have a list in your mind.
Jacked UP!
I watch a lot of sports. ESPN fills my TV watching...
I see a lot of great plays and I've noticed a common trend among athletes. When they make a spectacular catch/dunk/hit/block/etc. they say either two things: A) "LET'S GO!" B) "**** Yeah. ******* ***** of ****."
I can't blame them. I remember when we lowered the rim to six and half feet at the homestead. I dunked on Esta Bon Gondolfo Kid with no regard for his life. I had some serious words for him. I think I even had my shirt off. Yes, as I recall, I did. If my memory serves me correct, I even stood over his crumpled body on that fateful day. The concrete was softer than the words that broke Steven's ears.
How else can we, as elite athletes, clearly convey to our teammates what they need to do, or how others are inferior? No real athlete, in good confidence say, "Fellas, I am bringing the heat man. I just need your guys help. Just match my intensity." Or "Ohhh my. Did you just notice how I embarrassed you? Thehehe."
I see a lot of great plays and I've noticed a common trend among athletes. When they make a spectacular catch/dunk/hit/block/etc. they say either two things: A) "LET'S GO!" B) "**** Yeah. ******* ***** of ****."
I can't blame them. I remember when we lowered the rim to six and half feet at the homestead. I dunked on Esta Bon Gondolfo Kid with no regard for his life. I had some serious words for him. I think I even had my shirt off. Yes, as I recall, I did. If my memory serves me correct, I even stood over his crumpled body on that fateful day. The concrete was softer than the words that broke Steven's ears.
How else can we, as elite athletes, clearly convey to our teammates what they need to do, or how others are inferior? No real athlete, in good confidence say, "Fellas, I am bringing the heat man. I just need your guys help. Just match my intensity." Or "Ohhh my. Did you just notice how I embarrassed you? Thehehe."
Head Nod.
Remember when the head nod was THE way to say hello. I think even girls were head nodding each other. "Sup". Then like all things, it went away. It was the perfect salutation. You could look at another person, without really knowing them, and give them that nod. You were saying, "If I knew you, we'd be tight." or even, "Yo. Morning." The possibilities of interpretations are endless.
Despite its lack of common usage today, the nod is thriving. Ask Mowgli. Not only does he get free deserts when he asks, he gets the head nod. It's like he is part of a fraternity, a brotherhood. No matter where he goes, one of his brothers notice him and let him know, "Hey. What up, son? Ya alright? Just checking, you know. Wanna make sure you're okay." All of that is plainly expressed in a single motion of the head and neck. Awesome. I wish I had that kind of earned respect. People nodding 'yes' to me all day. People just super concerned with how I am.
Respect is earned, right. So, I've been on the street, earning. Justin Timberlake brought sexy back (Caleb Jones) I am going to bring the nod back.
Does it really make a diff?
I'm going to pull a Thoreau here and preach from my soap box, and be really pompous. BTW, the dude was a total douche.
Abbreviating words that do not need to be abbreviated is slothful. Are we so tied up with time that we really have to drop the last syllable when we talk? Not to exagg, but the only person who can drop off the last syllable is a man with a rope squeezing the life out of him. Wait, OR, Taylor Launter.Who has the gall, the audacity, the nerve to do that? A snooki.
Cold shoulder.
Besides being a song by Adele, that everyone should listen to/ like it, I've been getting a cold shoulder from a girl I barely know!
My monster of an Uncle, Rodney, suggested that I should date one of his nieces. No relation. Again, she is not related to me. No, she is not. NO. Nope. Uh-uh. Neva.
He said she was a "10", and that I shouldn't let the grass grow underneath her feet (whatever that means, I don't deal with fertilizer). Rod said that he talked me, made me sound good... so he lied... and anyone can find that out (thanks facebook for making my life transparent)....My uncle then gave me her number. Before I could call her, which should have been immediately, I got a call the next day from my uncle asking me if I had called. He followed up with me because a) this girl is awesome and wants me badly or b) he is worried sick about me. Which leads me to side note....
My family is truly worried about me, not because I am Ute (that does relate to their worries), but because I am not married. I am 24 and single. This is information about me, this doesn't conclude that I will be forever alone. That's not knowledge. Read a book. Then you'll get some knowledge. But I am getting constantly haggled about dating and people are trying to set me up. Call it what you want, I find it obnoxious, just like Tim Tebow. He is really annoying. Back to the story.
I call her. No answer. Hmmmmk. I am thinking. Why play hard to get? I mean, your aunt and unlce, okay, fine OUR aunt and uncle tried to set this up. Can't be a bad thing, right? It's legal! I let it go, kinda, as much as I can. So I don't. I fester.
Then a week later I text her. I was a little bugged that she never returned my call. Wouldn't you be? She texts back saying she is terrible at communication and all that monkey business (an idiom for being a liar). I give her the benefit of the doubt and wait till I am back in Utah to call. I do. She doesn't pick up. Pissed. Me. Off. She responds to my texts, that say stuff like, 'why are you bein lame? C'mon. Be real.' Because I ain't asking a girl out on a date over text. I call her two more times than I ever should have. Why? Pride. The whole thing didn't make sense to me.
What kind of a person doesn't answer the phone? That was rhetorical, but I'll answer it for you, people without hands or manners! What kind of girl doesn't give a mercy date? Again, I'll take this one, a mean one. This affair was set up by OUR aunt and uncle. This was like an invite to Christmas party. All she had to do was show up. Actually, she just had to be picked up. This was more like me coming over to sing Christmas carols to her. I was asking to sing songs about Christmas... Alas, I gave up the ghost.
I can't wait till my uncle sees me and ask, "Well, my boy, how is my niece?" I will look up, gulp my confidence down, and say, "I never took her out." He will look at me, frown a bit, furrow his brow, and then say, "huh." That will be the end of our conversation and relationship. Thanks cold shoulder girl.
I like this. Thehe
My monster of an Uncle, Rodney, suggested that I should date one of his nieces. No relation. Again, she is not related to me. No, she is not. NO. Nope. Uh-uh. Neva.
He said she was a "10", and that I shouldn't let the grass grow underneath her feet (whatever that means, I don't deal with fertilizer). Rod said that he talked me, made me sound good... so he lied... and anyone can find that out (thanks facebook for making my life transparent)....My uncle then gave me her number. Before I could call her, which should have been immediately, I got a call the next day from my uncle asking me if I had called. He followed up with me because a) this girl is awesome and wants me badly or b) he is worried sick about me. Which leads me to side note....
My family is truly worried about me, not because I am Ute (that does relate to their worries), but because I am not married. I am 24 and single. This is information about me, this doesn't conclude that I will be forever alone. That's not knowledge. Read a book. Then you'll get some knowledge. But I am getting constantly haggled about dating and people are trying to set me up. Call it what you want, I find it obnoxious, just like Tim Tebow. He is really annoying. Back to the story.
Then a week later I text her. I was a little bugged that she never returned my call. Wouldn't you be? She texts back saying she is terrible at communication and all that monkey business (an idiom for being a liar). I give her the benefit of the doubt and wait till I am back in Utah to call. I do. She doesn't pick up. Pissed. Me. Off. She responds to my texts, that say stuff like, 'why are you bein lame? C'mon. Be real.' Because I ain't asking a girl out on a date over text. I call her two more times than I ever should have. Why? Pride. The whole thing didn't make sense to me.
What kind of a person doesn't answer the phone? That was rhetorical, but I'll answer it for you, people without hands or manners! What kind of girl doesn't give a mercy date? Again, I'll take this one, a mean one. This affair was set up by OUR aunt and uncle. This was like an invite to Christmas party. All she had to do was show up. Actually, she just had to be picked up. This was more like me coming over to sing Christmas carols to her. I was asking to sing songs about Christmas... Alas, I gave up the ghost.
I can't wait till my uncle sees me and ask, "Well, my boy, how is my niece?" I will look up, gulp my confidence down, and say, "I never took her out." He will look at me, frown a bit, furrow his brow, and then say, "huh." That will be the end of our conversation and relationship. Thanks cold shoulder girl.
I like this. Thehe
Was that a compliment?
When I was younger, my brother and his wife came home to visit us. I think it may have been a holiday of some sort. She had just given birth to her second child. It had been a while since I had seen her. I remember wanting to give her a sincere compliment. This is how it went, "Have you gained weight or lost weight? Cause either way you look a whole lot better!"
A rookie move. The situation is funny in retrospect, but how rude. No woman wants to even hear 'gained' and 'weight' in the same sentence; no woman. Then to say that either way she looked better - the audacity. Did she look like a victim of starvation or like Oprah? Neither, of course. Not until recently have I been able to really empathize with that situation.
Whenever I see someone I haven't seen for a while, they ask me if I lost weight. I say, "No, not really." Then they say,"Oh... cause you look a lot better. You look good. Fit." I instantly get a offended. Was I fat last year? I went to the gym like everyday.... thanks and cool.
You know what I mean. Like a compliment that seems to dig at you at the same time - a back handed compliment. A subtle hint that you have improved your awful, previous, self.
Here is one, "Wow! Did you get a hair cut?" -"No" -"Oh, it looks good." Maybe it is the words like 'wow' and 'oh' that make it seem bad. Like they were surprised, then disappointed that it wasn't an intentional change. The voice inflection gives them away.
"Are those new jeans? They look good on you" TRANSLATE: I am sure glad you have upgraded your wardrobe, cause you look like a slouch most of the time.
"You are smart" TRANSLATE: My first impression was that you are an idiot. I am so glad you proved me wrong.
A rookie move. The situation is funny in retrospect, but how rude. No woman wants to even hear 'gained' and 'weight' in the same sentence; no woman. Then to say that either way she looked better - the audacity. Did she look like a victim of starvation or like Oprah? Neither, of course. Not until recently have I been able to really empathize with that situation.
Whenever I see someone I haven't seen for a while, they ask me if I lost weight. I say, "No, not really." Then they say,"Oh... cause you look a lot better. You look good. Fit." I instantly get a offended. Was I fat last year? I went to the gym like everyday.... thanks and cool.
You know what I mean. Like a compliment that seems to dig at you at the same time - a back handed compliment. A subtle hint that you have improved your awful, previous, self.
Here is one, "Wow! Did you get a hair cut?" -"No" -"Oh, it looks good." Maybe it is the words like 'wow' and 'oh' that make it seem bad. Like they were surprised, then disappointed that it wasn't an intentional change. The voice inflection gives them away.
"Are those new jeans? They look good on you" TRANSLATE: I am sure glad you have upgraded your wardrobe, cause you look like a slouch most of the time.
"You are smart" TRANSLATE: My first impression was that you are an idiot. I am so glad you proved me wrong.
Death by Texting
(The dude sitting next to me in the library keeps peeping over. He thens speaks to me, "Umm, what is death by texting? I don't get it. Texts cannot actually kill you." Oh how nice it must be to ignorant of the truth.)
Death by texting is a cognitive decision to limit all communication to text. This choice imposes a series of problems for individuals: text cannot convey the real message, emotions, or feeling behind the words. This can create some serious mis-communication. With all of this mis-communication going on, it suddenly turns into a text battle.... and that it just childish. For some reason people feel like they can say whatever they want over text. Suddenly the people who avoid confrontation become a beast, like they have a license to talk some major smack. Everyone knows that is up to Mr. T.
Speaking of people saying whatever they think, late night texting is DANGEROUS. Pure insanity. Stupidity. What are some other words that go along with that? Dumb? That is what it is, just not smart, and it causes some issues. Let me paint you a picture. Late at night. You are feeling a little lonely, probably because you just watched a gooey love movie, followed up by listening to Marvin Gaye, and were thinking of your lost puppy. Out of the blue you think of this person you've been crushing on for awhile. A thought bores itself out of your illogical side of your brain (know as J.S.B) and says, "Text em. Tell em that you are thinking about them." What you don't hear is the evil laugh of the thought as it leaves. The evil thought goes back to his side of the brain, known as Jason, the illogical side, and tells all of his friends about how he just burned you. They all have a good laugh. Jason loves screwing you. If you are a woman, that side of the brain is called Candice.
You text them. You say you miss them, in words that really do not do justice to the type of person you are. Like the words 'booty', 'baby', and 'hunny'. Those words automatically cheapen the text, and make the other person feel like a stack of meat. You can't back out of it either. What are you going to say, "it was my buddy".... That text is permanently in their text history. They can read it over and over.... and they never have to respond. See? There it is, you are not getting their natural response. Problem.
Just as I was writing this post I got a text from this girl I haven't talked to in FOREVER. I invited her to come and see me. She said "I'm good. HAHA". Hold up. "I'm good. HAHA" First of all, she texted me first. I was just trying to be cute. Then she tells me she is good? Oh, nice to meet you good... Wait...no, you are not. You just iced me. You are not good, you are an ice queen. Secondly, did she really laugh that hard. Like HAHA? Maybe a chuckle or hehe, shoot I would take 'lol' rather than a 'HAHA'. Are you the Joker? Oh, I am some kind of comedian now? I wasn't making a joke. Would she do that in person? Or on the phone? Imagine that!
Wanna kick it?
I'm good. HAHA.
OHHHH! No you didn't! I really hope next time you text me I can just go, "I'm good. HAHAHAHA!" Laugh it up like a maniac. How do you like that? Oh, you don't? I'm sorry that I'm good and you're a friggin jokester. I didn't think you were for reals...
Getting back to what I am trying to say, limit your texting. It is cool for short little stuff, but we have forgotten that our vocal cords work. They actually function.
Speaking of people saying whatever they think, late night texting is DANGEROUS. Pure insanity. Stupidity. What are some other words that go along with that? Dumb? That is what it is, just not smart, and it causes some issues. Let me paint you a picture. Late at night. You are feeling a little lonely, probably because you just watched a gooey love movie, followed up by listening to Marvin Gaye, and were thinking of your lost puppy. Out of the blue you think of this person you've been crushing on for awhile. A thought bores itself out of your illogical side of your brain (know as J.S.B) and says, "Text em. Tell em that you are thinking about them." What you don't hear is the evil laugh of the thought as it leaves. The evil thought goes back to his side of the brain, known as Jason, the illogical side, and tells all of his friends about how he just burned you. They all have a good laugh. Jason loves screwing you. If you are a woman, that side of the brain is called Candice.
You text them. You say you miss them, in words that really do not do justice to the type of person you are. Like the words 'booty', 'baby', and 'hunny'. Those words automatically cheapen the text, and make the other person feel like a stack of meat. You can't back out of it either. What are you going to say, "it was my buddy".... That text is permanently in their text history. They can read it over and over.... and they never have to respond. See? There it is, you are not getting their natural response. Problem.
Just as I was writing this post I got a text from this girl I haven't talked to in FOREVER. I invited her to come and see me. She said "I'm good. HAHA". Hold up. "I'm good. HAHA" First of all, she texted me first. I was just trying to be cute. Then she tells me she is good? Oh, nice to meet you good... Wait...no, you are not. You just iced me. You are not good, you are an ice queen. Secondly, did she really laugh that hard. Like HAHA? Maybe a chuckle or hehe, shoot I would take 'lol' rather than a 'HAHA'. Are you the Joker? Oh, I am some kind of comedian now? I wasn't making a joke. Would she do that in person? Or on the phone? Imagine that!
Wanna kick it?
I'm good. HAHA.
OHHHH! No you didn't! I really hope next time you text me I can just go, "I'm good. HAHAHAHA!" Laugh it up like a maniac. How do you like that? Oh, you don't? I'm sorry that I'm good and you're a friggin jokester. I didn't think you were for reals...
Getting back to what I am trying to say, limit your texting. It is cool for short little stuff, but we have forgotten that our vocal cords work. They actually function.
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