Person 1: Where do you want to eat?
Person 2: I don't care. You choose?
P1: Okay. Lets go to _______?
P2: (Hesitation in the voice) Uh, I'm not feeling that.
P1: Okay... (frustrated as Person 2 stated they didn't care). How about ________?
P2: Hmmm.
This could go on and on:
No you choose.
I don't know.
I don't care.
Seems like you don't this idea...
Blah ba Blah
This kind of mind numbing rhetoric could go on for 5, 10, 15 minutes or even until the people starve to death before they leave the house! What can be worse is when this is happening in the car... as you are passing places of fine dining.
P1: What about _____? It's just up the street.
P2: I guess so. (With an obvious hint of disagreement).
Driving aimlessly around. Making illegal u-turns. Cutting people off.
I have never, ever, lost my mind or cool in the situation. The ambiguity and lack of decision making is part of the adventure of, "How long can my overweight body be okay with not gorging itself?"
Here is what to do in this situation:
1) Establish who is going to make the choice VERY quickly. If they punt, you do not call a fair catch, but go full speed ahead. GO! GO! GO! With reckless abandon.
2) Do not make or take suggestions. Go with the first place that is stated.
3) Resolve not to compromise on a whim or a "maybe they are not happy with my decision," go forward, not backward.
Showing posts with label relationship.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship.. Show all posts
Wedding Plans Pt. I
I foresee a few of these posts upcoming. Just a fair warning.
Engagements are a bigger deal than I ever realized. I now know that there are few things in life (or at least in my short life) that is more important than that day. It has to be perfect. Bad lighting, forgetting to bring your dress shoes (but you didn't... they were just kicking it in the back window of your car), a goofy smile, any one of those little missteps can spell D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R-O-U-S. Be focused. Be alert. Gotta be on your A game.
Liz has been planning this day for the past 176 days, 15 hours, 32 minutes and 8 seconds. She bought me three entirely new outfits. I was looking forward to sporting my new threads ASAP. *Reality Check* I wasn't allowed to wear these clothes. They were stored away. Not allowed. Out of sight out of mind. Until two days before today. I got to try them on to make sure we looked okay.
I get it now. I probably would have split something on my pants, torn a sleeve, or something awful. Fair enough.
Then the day of came. We were on a tight schedule, mostly because of my lackadaisical attitude. I thought this would be a matter of showing up. False and incorrect assumption. I got a hair cut. Ate a sandwich in three seconds. Then I brushed my teeth with baking soda. Yeah, it was a chill afternoon.
Wait. I. Brushed. My. Teeth. With. Baking. Soda.
I dry heaved so badly that my belly crunched me down into a fetal position like a special move from WWE Wrestling.
It all went really well though. Liz did a marvelous job. We had matching colors. The weather held together and I only messed around in three pictures. Pretty damn good for a three hour session.
Engagements are a bigger deal than I ever realized. I now know that there are few things in life (or at least in my short life) that is more important than that day. It has to be perfect. Bad lighting, forgetting to bring your dress shoes (but you didn't... they were just kicking it in the back window of your car), a goofy smile, any one of those little missteps can spell D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R-O-U-S. Be focused. Be alert. Gotta be on your A game.
Liz has been planning this day for the past 176 days, 15 hours, 32 minutes and 8 seconds. She bought me three entirely new outfits. I was looking forward to sporting my new threads ASAP. *Reality Check* I wasn't allowed to wear these clothes. They were stored away. Not allowed. Out of sight out of mind. Until two days before today. I got to try them on to make sure we looked okay.
I get it now. I probably would have split something on my pants, torn a sleeve, or something awful. Fair enough.
Then the day of came. We were on a tight schedule, mostly because of my lackadaisical attitude. I thought this would be a matter of showing up. False and incorrect assumption. I got a hair cut. Ate a sandwich in three seconds. Then I brushed my teeth with baking soda. Yeah, it was a chill afternoon.
Wait. I. Brushed. My. Teeth. With. Baking. Soda.
I dry heaved so badly that my belly crunched me down into a fetal position like a special move from WWE Wrestling.
It all went really well though. Liz did a marvelous job. We had matching colors. The weather held together and I only messed around in three pictures. Pretty damn good for a three hour session.
make sure she remembers...
The one piece of advise I was told over and over, when I would tell people I was going to ask Liz to marry me, was to make sure she would remember how I did it -- that it would be a great story. There are plenty of ways to make it memorable. I could've asked her in a trailer park. I could have just casually asked her when she was going into work one afternoon. I could have asked her while driving down the freeway, in my car without ac, going 90 miles an hour, blasting Rage Against the Machine. I could have done a lot of interesting and memorable things, but I knew I had to come up with some romantic.
.............something romantic..........
SO, I did the next best thing, I got on the internet to research the best way to ask the woman of your dreams to be yours (I'm so mushy right now). I typed "romantic proposals" into the google machine. I didn't find anything that really spoke to me. I tried "best proposal ideas either/or top ten best romantic movies". To my dismay, after two hours of reading I discovered that I had curated a list of pure cinematic garbage. It just seemed to cheapen our relationship, me pretending to be something I wasn't. I didn't want to take her on a scavenger hunt that would end with a trail of roses to her bed... where I would be laying covered in chocolate. I wanted it to be three things: 1) I have already made reference to this above, but it had to feel genuine and true to who we both were, what our relationship was 2) a surprise 3) memorable (in a good way).
Then it hit me. I was living just 45 mins south of one of the most iconic spots in the United States, the Golden Gate Bridge. I rolled my eyes that I hadn't thought of this sooner. I can be rather dense some times. So I scouted out the location. Asked a close friend and his wife to be there to photograph and video the memorable day.
I was nervous. I started sweating about two hours before Liz flew in. I said a prayer in my heart and hoped for the best. It turned out perfect... or damn near it. She arrived on time. Traffic wasn't nearly as bad as I predicted and the sun was just about to set when we arrived. It was awesome. I couldn't help but smile when we got down on the beach and saw this perfect setting. It couldn't have been better. Liz didn't see it coming. Her surprise took me by surprise. I stuttered through my speech that I had prepared. We both teared up. Hearts were full. I nailed #1-3. The rest of the night was pretty cool too. I took her to one of the best Italian Restaurants in San Francisco and then looked at the lights on the bay bridge.
I'm lucky that I have found such a good woman, one that I don't deserve. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
Below is a little song that will help us immortalize that perfect night.
.............something romantic..........
SO, I did the next best thing, I got on the internet to research the best way to ask the woman of your dreams to be yours (I'm so mushy right now). I typed "romantic proposals" into the google machine. I didn't find anything that really spoke to me. I tried "best proposal ideas either/or top ten best romantic movies". To my dismay, after two hours of reading I discovered that I had curated a list of pure cinematic garbage. It just seemed to cheapen our relationship, me pretending to be something I wasn't. I didn't want to take her on a scavenger hunt that would end with a trail of roses to her bed... where I would be laying covered in chocolate. I wanted it to be three things: 1) I have already made reference to this above, but it had to feel genuine and true to who we both were, what our relationship was 2) a surprise 3) memorable (in a good way).
Then it hit me. I was living just 45 mins south of one of the most iconic spots in the United States, the Golden Gate Bridge. I rolled my eyes that I hadn't thought of this sooner. I can be rather dense some times. So I scouted out the location. Asked a close friend and his wife to be there to photograph and video the memorable day.
I'm lucky that I have found such a good woman, one that I don't deserve. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
Below is a little song that will help us immortalize that perfect night.
Girlfriend = Good Lift @ Gym
My attitude has change because of this morning.
This morning was the first time I had ever gone to the gym with my girlfriend. I wasn't hating the idea as I had originally thought I would. I kind of liked that she wanted to listen to me and work out. It could be fun. We would bond like dudes. Right?
I set it up so she would do a separate exercise than me, but I could spot her when I was resting.
I went hard. I was red faced. Veins popping in my head. I had to prove to my lady that I was a man. I AM A MAN DAMMIT! The caveman inside of me was raging. He needed to pound a sabertooth down with a giant club.
There were a few problems with me though: 1) I hadn't worked out in about a week, which is an eternity. Honestly. 2) I hadn't eaten anything.
We worked out for over an hour. It felt good, but then, after our last exercise, I felt sick. I went pale. My mouth was watering like a broken water spicket. I knew it was coming -- stomach acid/water/bad taste/ruined-teeth solution. I haven't thrown up while exercising since high school, (Thats over six years ago) so I was in shock.
Plus, I sound awful when I throw up, it's really loud. It's like a bowling ball being forced out of my face. I threw up three times. Thankfully, it was the half a cup ones.... Little teasers. So cute when they do that to me. Where you stomach just contracts tight and you want to die.
She made a believer outta me. If you are single, take a girl on your first date to a gym. You will crush it. Girls are the ultimate benchmark and motivator.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Last V-day, I was.... what was I doing? Cant remember; pretty memorable day. This is the third post in a month, revolving around women and love. Sorry, its Februany, I got the love bug.
So, in order to make this V-day memorable, and in honor of this "give me a thoughtful 'I LOVE you' gift" day, I decided to kick it off right by watching the "Bachelor". What could show me, a cold hearted animal, what it feels like to be in love, better than a "non-scripted, reality" TV show. If you are a doubter, like I was, you need to watch it at least once in your life. I promise, you'll come away with more questions about love than answers. I really did enjoy it, mostly because of how authentic and organic it all feels. Nothing seems fake or planned, it really comes across natural and real.
NOTE: I had to keep my head from falling off of my neck.... I was rolling my eyes so hard.
I could go on and on about the show (just after one episode, its THAT juicy), but I'll just say this about the show: Courtney has a real shot at getting a spot on a soap opera. She makes the show. As well as how dense Ben is.
Like I said, after I was done with the Bachelor, I had more questions than answers about the L word and its associated feelings. I thought it prudent to turn to men who have always been considered connoisseurs of love. Take a listen, because these tracks are love-making music baby. If these songs don't make you put on the smolder face and nod your head, you have neither a heart or ears.
Did you notice what all those videos have in common? That's right, a black man with soul. That led me to the only black man I am close enough to talk to about love, and oddly enough he is in love, Mowgli. Now, I know we have had him on the blog before, but never has he been more of an expert on love than he is at this moment. The interview was not exactly what I was hoping for.... meaning, it was pretty bland/boring/it sucks. Maybe, it was my monotone voice or that he didn't really want to play my game.
Me: Sean, what kind of feeling is love like, a shot through the heart, or the kind of feeling that makes you wanna say, 'come on, and love me sexy'?
Sean: Come on and love me sexy.
Me: So, you'd agree with Jackie Moon?
Sean: Jackie Moon says it best.
Does he really believe that? C'mon and suck me sexy? My magic eight ball says, 'DOUBTFUL.'
Me: When do you know you're in love; when you are over checking them out or when you finally can stand hearing them chew their gum?
Sean: Good question. I feel like when you are over checking them out though.
Me: Is love a 'many a ... splendid thing'? (Don't watch that whole clip. Nicole Kidman is such a whore.)
Sean: Sure, I guess.
Can't blame him for not knowing the reference, the last Romantic movie he saw was The Vow. He even gave it three and half stars out of five.... Weak.
Me: Does love actually affect your physical composition?
Sean: Yes.
Me: In what way?
I had heard it changes the way your heart is shaped.
Sean: Chuckle. I can't tell you. It's inappropriate.
He must be talking about the pleats in his dress pants.
Me: When people say they fell in love, what does that mean? And did that happen to you?
Sean: Yes.
Me: K. It happened to you.What does that mean?
Sean: It means the other person tripped them. So...
Me: Alright, you gunna go with that?
He nods his head, and rubs his eyes.It apparent that he couldn't care less. The amount he cares is so minimal that I can barely stand it.
Me: K... Have you ever lied and said you loved someone?
Sean: Yeah.
Me: Who?
Sean: You.
Both Sean and Hillary chuckle then laugh. He laughs a little too hard at his own joke. Unfazed by their lack of cooperation and humor, I continue with the interview; like a professional.
Me: Sex. What are your thoughts on its connection to love?
Sean: I feel like it is a necessary step, to show your love, after the appropriate steps have been taken.
Then he says something that I can't hear, but it's probably really boring.
Me: What was Eric Clapton really saying when he said, 'Would you know my name, if I saw you in Heaven,'?
Sean: Ha...I think he's admiring an angel from afar, and he wonders if she notices him too.
Me: Sarcastically. Do you really think it is a love song though?
Sean: Uh, probably.
Gives me an annoyed look and laugh. Probably? You're damn right it is.
Me: Are you a selfish lover?
Sean: No.
Me: What makes you so unselfish?
Sean: I am a generous person.
I laugh inside this time. Generous.
Me: So, could you ever fall in love with a man?
Sean: No. He chuckles. I wonder why he chuckled. I wouldn't chuckle at that.
Me: Whats the shortest amount of time you have been in love?
Sean: Uh...Long pause. Six days.
Me: Who?
Sean: You. He laughs at his own joke again.
In conclusion, I now know that Sean doesn't have an essential element of the true black man, i.e. Romantic - soul. He has no idea about love. I am no closer to the end of my quest and frustrated more than ever. This search is starting to feel like Zelda, The Ocarina of Time, on N64.
So, in order to make this V-day memorable, and in honor of this "give me a thoughtful 'I LOVE you' gift" day, I decided to kick it off right by watching the "Bachelor". What could show me, a cold hearted animal, what it feels like to be in love, better than a "non-scripted, reality" TV show. If you are a doubter, like I was, you need to watch it at least once in your life. I promise, you'll come away with more questions about love than answers. I really did enjoy it, mostly because of how authentic and organic it all feels. Nothing seems fake or planned, it really comes across natural and real.
NOTE: I had to keep my head from falling off of my neck.... I was rolling my eyes so hard.
I could go on and on about the show (just after one episode, its THAT juicy), but I'll just say this about the show: Courtney has a real shot at getting a spot on a soap opera. She makes the show. As well as how dense Ben is.
Like I said, after I was done with the Bachelor, I had more questions than answers about the L word and its associated feelings. I thought it prudent to turn to men who have always been considered connoisseurs of love. Take a listen, because these tracks are love-making music baby. If these songs don't make you put on the smolder face and nod your head, you have neither a heart or ears.
Did you notice what all those videos have in common? That's right, a black man with soul. That led me to the only black man I am close enough to talk to about love, and oddly enough he is in love, Mowgli. Now, I know we have had him on the blog before, but never has he been more of an expert on love than he is at this moment. The interview was not exactly what I was hoping for.... meaning, it was pretty bland/boring/it sucks. Maybe, it was my monotone voice or that he didn't really want to play my game.
Me: Sean, what kind of feeling is love like, a shot through the heart, or the kind of feeling that makes you wanna say, 'come on, and love me sexy'?
Sean: Come on and love me sexy.
Me: So, you'd agree with Jackie Moon?
Sean: Jackie Moon says it best.
Does he really believe that? C'mon and suck me sexy? My magic eight ball says, 'DOUBTFUL.'
Me: When do you know you're in love; when you are over checking them out or when you finally can stand hearing them chew their gum?
Sean: Good question. I feel like when you are over checking them out though.
Me: Is love a 'many a ... splendid thing'? (Don't watch that whole clip. Nicole Kidman is such a whore.)
Sean: Sure, I guess.
Can't blame him for not knowing the reference, the last Romantic movie he saw was The Vow. He even gave it three and half stars out of five.... Weak.
Me: Does love actually affect your physical composition?
Sean: Yes.
Me: In what way?
I had heard it changes the way your heart is shaped.
Sean: Chuckle. I can't tell you. It's inappropriate.
He must be talking about the pleats in his dress pants.
Me: When people say they fell in love, what does that mean? And did that happen to you?
Sean: Yes.
Me: K. It happened to you.What does that mean?
Sean: It means the other person tripped them. So...
Me: Alright, you gunna go with that?
He nods his head, and rubs his eyes.It apparent that he couldn't care less. The amount he cares is so minimal that I can barely stand it.
Me: K... Have you ever lied and said you loved someone?
Sean: Yeah.
Me: Who?
Sean: You.
Both Sean and Hillary chuckle then laugh. He laughs a little too hard at his own joke. Unfazed by their lack of cooperation and humor, I continue with the interview; like a professional.
Me: Sex. What are your thoughts on its connection to love?
Sean: I feel like it is a necessary step, to show your love, after the appropriate steps have been taken.
Then he says something that I can't hear, but it's probably really boring.
Me: What was Eric Clapton really saying when he said, 'Would you know my name, if I saw you in Heaven,'?
Sean: Ha...I think he's admiring an angel from afar, and he wonders if she notices him too.
Me: Sarcastically. Do you really think it is a love song though?
Sean: Uh, probably.
Gives me an annoyed look and laugh. Probably? You're damn right it is.
Me: Are you a selfish lover?
Sean: No.
Me: What makes you so unselfish?
Sean: I am a generous person.
I laugh inside this time. Generous.
Me: So, could you ever fall in love with a man?
Sean: No. He chuckles. I wonder why he chuckled. I wouldn't chuckle at that.
Me: Whats the shortest amount of time you have been in love?
Sean: Uh...Long pause. Six days.
Me: Who?
Sean: You. He laughs at his own joke again.
In conclusion, I now know that Sean doesn't have an essential element of the true black man, i.e. Romantic - soul. He has no idea about love. I am no closer to the end of my quest and frustrated more than ever. This search is starting to feel like Zelda, The Ocarina of Time, on N64.
run for me.
Sometimes, when I am by myself, I begin to question a lot of things. One of the most visited thoughts within in my brain is women. They also seem to be the constant that heal and break my heart. I guess it is important to understand that I love them all. I fall head over heels like a roller coaster, and by the time I come to, I am nauseous. In the past, I have gotten myself so deep into girls, that there is no way that I can come out unscathed. One of my friends told me the difference between me and most men, they casually dip their feet in the pool water, testing its temperature and assessing the consequences of getting wet. I, however, dive in. Head first. Not caring how deep the pool is.
Here is what I am asking myself, what is better to dip, wade, take it easy, or just be like Justin Bieber and cry out "I just need somebody to LOVE!" or "Your world is my world. Your fight is my fight. And my breath is your breath..." For me it is obviously a lot easier to be passionate right out, but is that making it more difficult for me to really see what is going on.
We are all in a battle (right Ms. Sparks?) for love. Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone Love Everyone! I see flaws with either game plan. With the dip and analyze strategy it breeds a man to not commit, to play the field, and not get serious. It is really a defense mechanism. They shield themselves from a relationship, that way they stay safe. Mine on the other hand, takes a lot out of a man. His time and emotional strength. It creates a mixed up individual. I guess it is all about deciding what kind of race you wanna run. Sprints or a Marathon. I don't know if I am really making sense. Essentially, it doesn't matter what kind of race you wanna run, as long as you finish.
BUT I don't wanna do the pre-races anymore. I don't even wanna stretch. I wasn't born in Kenya or the Caribbean. And guess what Gatorade, I am not about to take your three drinks. I am going to sit the next few plays out. I think it is time that I become the prize. Start running for me ladies, cause this wolf is wiped out. Unfortunately, we all know this is not possible. But it was nice to pretend that it would actually happen in those few sentences. I will continue to run. Run boy run.
Don't me Fall
Here is what I am asking myself, what is better to dip, wade, take it easy, or just be like Justin Bieber and cry out "I just need somebody to LOVE!" or "Your world is my world. Your fight is my fight. And my breath is your breath..." For me it is obviously a lot easier to be passionate right out, but is that making it more difficult for me to really see what is going on.
We are all in a battle (right Ms. Sparks?) for love. Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone Love Everyone! I see flaws with either game plan. With the dip and analyze strategy it breeds a man to not commit, to play the field, and not get serious. It is really a defense mechanism. They shield themselves from a relationship, that way they stay safe. Mine on the other hand, takes a lot out of a man. His time and emotional strength. It creates a mixed up individual. I guess it is all about deciding what kind of race you wanna run. Sprints or a Marathon. I don't know if I am really making sense. Essentially, it doesn't matter what kind of race you wanna run, as long as you finish.
BUT I don't wanna do the pre-races anymore. I don't even wanna stretch. I wasn't born in Kenya or the Caribbean. And guess what Gatorade, I am not about to take your three drinks. I am going to sit the next few plays out. I think it is time that I become the prize. Start running for me ladies, cause this wolf is wiped out. Unfortunately, we all know this is not possible. But it was nice to pretend that it would actually happen in those few sentences. I will continue to run. Run boy run.
Don't me Fall
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