i had previously promised that i would post monthly games. i haven't kept it up. i am sorry. here i am, trying to repair the damage; this months game is called "the creep".
fairly simple, purchase an ice cream cone, and eat it. the trick is to watch someone the entire time as you lick, make sure you finish eat it... creepy...
He's not a lad, brother; he's a man!
A few months ago, a dear friend, Mr. Pack, asked me to write about one skill that every man should possess. Initially, I thought, "easy, no problem," (I said those words, in my head, like Brian Regan; around the one minute mark). Then, I thought of all of the skills that Asians have to have, that I will never need to have. So, I narrowed it down, to Americans living on the west coast, who have never had to save another humans life by administering an adrenaline shot.
But even that search yielded too many variables, so I refined it some more. They cannot have a felony or have served time in jail. Finally, I had found my perfect sample size, but what skill should every man, who has never had to give an adrenaline shot or served time, need to know?
Changing a tire was too obvious. I had to go with something original, yet classy. Something classy like a wrestling singlet. Spitting wasn't classy enough. This skill couldn't be too simple either. Yelling? C'mon. Every demographic had to be able as well... East Indians can not throw a football. See the dilemma?! In some way or another, I couldn't relate to every single man out there. One would say, in really dumb voice, "that doesn't apply to me." But just like every man, it is bred into me that I don't have to please anyone. Selfish pig.
After hours, days, and weeks of thinking about what skill I should select, I realized that I was making this far too complex. I looked at man and asked, what sets man apart from all of the other beasts? When does a boy know he is a man? What is it that man does that makes him so manly? At mans basic form, the roots his existence, man has always needed to know how to do one thing, peeing straight.
Seriously, this is a skill. This is something that we are not born with.
But even that search yielded too many variables, so I refined it some more. They cannot have a felony or have served time in jail. Finally, I had found my perfect sample size, but what skill should every man, who has never had to give an adrenaline shot or served time, need to know?
Changing a tire was too obvious. I had to go with something original, yet classy. Something classy like a wrestling singlet. Spitting wasn't classy enough. This skill couldn't be too simple either. Yelling? C'mon. Every demographic had to be able as well... East Indians can not throw a football. See the dilemma?! In some way or another, I couldn't relate to every single man out there. One would say, in really dumb voice, "that doesn't apply to me." But just like every man, it is bred into me that I don't have to please anyone. Selfish pig.
After hours, days, and weeks of thinking about what skill I should select, I realized that I was making this far too complex. I looked at man and asked, what sets man apart from all of the other beasts? When does a boy know he is a man? What is it that man does that makes him so manly? At mans basic form, the roots his existence, man has always needed to know how to do one thing, peeing straight.
Seriously, this is a skill. This is something that we are not born with.
Camper vs. Hunter
Camper: sits and waits. He let's the fight come to him, by hiding in dark corners, until someone comes into his sights.
Hunter: he takes the fight to all around him.
Scavenger: picks off the weakened from battle.
I am the unwilling camper, that hunts on occasion. No one wants to camp, if they understand what being a man is all about... Camping is like "Groundhogs day," with Bill Murray, but instead you're stuck in the seventh grade. It's easy, you are just slaying it on the basketball court, the hunnies are lovin you, but in the end, your balls still haven't dropped.
It isn't so much how great your kill to death ratio is, at least not in the beginning. Anyone can crouch down, wait for someone to walk right into their sight, and pull the trigger. Zzzzzz. Boring. This ain't fishing, and it's definitely not real life. For once, it's okay to die, you actually get an infinite amount of lives. But Gaming is really a microcosm of mans development...
Baby teeth fall out-- Double kills are common.
Hair grows in-- Look sensitivity is at 11.
Odor secreats-- Dogs are unleashed.
The stream slows-- the sniper class is mastered.
Do you follow? Maybe not. If you get one thing out of this, it's that being a camper for your c.o.d. Career is a zero.
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