having a youtube channel

it has been awhile since i've seen a julian smith video. this is the first one that came up that i have not seen. it has over 4 million views.

having your own youtube channel, with a lot of followers, would have some perks of course, but ultimately, everyone is going to know how crazy you are.

COMBO!

I tried studying outside, like an adult that loves nature. Too bad there was wind. You know how hard it is to studying in the wind with loose papers? About as hard as Dirty Harry. That is when I realized that studying in the wind is a weird combo... which leads me to:

Julian Smith and Mr. Timn.

So is itching you bottom and then your face. OR getting a water balloon to the face.

As well as making music with tools.

And finally, a techno and a man slave child?

If you don't like Samberg, you're not funny.

You do not like life. You hate it. You never laugh. These statements are true if you do not find this link funny.

i am really embarrassed.

i had previously promised that i would post monthly games. i haven't kept it up. i am sorry. here i am, trying to repair the damage; this months game is called "the creep".

fairly simple, purchase an ice cream cone, and eat it. the trick is to watch someone the entire time as you lick, make sure you finish eat it... creepy...

Fairy tales are for kids.

Welcome to the real world, you little jerk.

(names were made up. Any similarities to your life is completely by coincidence. This is a fictional story with a real theme. I would never write about you.)

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Charles. He had a friend name Samuel. They were best friends. They were friends with many friends, like Mikey, Reggie, and Jet. These boys liked girls, but getting the best girls was hard. Jet moved too fast. Reggie was too sweet. Mikey was too shy. Samuel might have been gay. But Charles, he was able to slay the hottest babes. The other boys didn't mind, because Charles' babe would bring other babes. This was all fine until Charles brought his new woman to meet them...

Eyes were fixed on her, well, the boys would sneak glances, to stare at her. Her jokes couldn't seem more funny. Her intelligence was mediocre, making her seem to good to be true. She was a sheer dean. (sheer dean is a term used in the Hyde home. It means she is without question, a keeper, a ten, aka your childrens mother) All of the boys had a crush on her, but none of them would come out and say it, that would be wrong.

Kind of like Samuel admitting he had a crush on Jet... That would be wrong, cause that would change the dynamic of their relationship. Jet wouldn't be mature about it or supportive really.

What could they do to get Charles girl? All of them could see that Charles was a bad match for this sheer dean. They would and could treat her better. Alas, they dreamed of the couple breaking. The bro code forbade them from trying to ruin the relationship. What could they do? A lie, yes? A rumor of sorts. No, that was overplayed in recent movies. Murder? Too far. Send her love notes? Give me break.

Actually, this story sucks. The point is to get over her... Or pull a Dane Cook. I really just posted this so I could put this link up. Fair warning, this website has some very foul language, but makes me laugh.

Double Dog Dare

Name your pet a curse word. Like wanker.

Say it often.

Introduce him to everyone.

But never say his name with a smile.

Funnie

Messing with people is probably one of the funnest things to do. I recommend it. Look up Tom Mabe on YouTube. He has some classic ideas. Lee Roy Mercer is pretty funny too.

Here is the game of the month: choose one of your friends or even a person you aren't close to, but talk to often, preferably one that is a hothead. The goal of this game is to irritate them. You do this by asking them to repeat whatever they just said. You need to do this in moderation or else they'll catch on.

For instance. You are talking about the liberation of Libya, or why KFC is of the devil, and they are really into it, their argument is reaching its climax. All you have to do is say 'what?' or even better, 'huh?' I promise that they will repeat what they said, or say it in a different way. After they are done re-explaining, ask them again, as if you didn't understand or weren't listening. If you started with 'say that again,' then you keep saying 'say that again'. I mean, if they aren't catching on.The best is when they are giving you directions.

J.S.B.

Call him the natural man, your Id, or even "night bandit", we all  have this alter ego that we have to battle every day and night. I call him Jason, Jason Some Booty. Jason and I go way back. He was born when I kissed Jessica D. in kindergarten. That's when I realized he could potentially take me over.

Late at night, he will come. He will tell you to scroll through that phone of yours, or get on Facebook, and look... He'll tell you to look for a girl you have been feeling, but haven't really pursued. He'll encourage you to be all flirty, to put yourself out there, with just enough ambiguity that you are safe, but she knows you mean business. If he is feeling really daring, he will have you give them a call after 10 (Even though 10 is early. For some reason girls think its late).

JSB will lie to you. He will tell you to try and play girls. See, he is only looking out for him, not you. You have to pay the consequences, not Jason. The selfish jerkbox has no guarantees. In fact, he is batting under .001, and still you listen to him. That is the problem with having two entities in the same body, one has to win and the other loses. You'll get shut down by her, I promise. They will call you a man-whore for trying, even though it was ALL Jason. You'll move on to the next girl. The vicious cycle continues.

I broke up with Jason awhile back. I wouldn't really know how he acts now. When you feel that urge to make a move after the sun goes down, resist. Unless you are on the E streak.

Do not light a match, or my car will explode.

Here is what needs to be invented, a pill that will make flatulence smell good. Too much to ask?  People invented the deodorant stick for us. They invented gum.

You know you are a headcase when....

you kick trash cans over, after you have already punched the wall several times, because you were pissed....

you think someone wants to marry you, when all they did was ask you on a date and cuddled with you....

you tweet about how you hate your life several times a day....

you break up with someone who you weren't even dating....

you can't remember what you ate for lunch the previous day....

you think that Ron Artest is normal....

you go to movies alone... and actually enjoy it....

you dip toast into orange juice and eat it... and like it....

you justify gambling with scholarship money...

B-League.

I have taken the liberty to assume what these individuals would have said if they were asked about my competitive nature. These comments may not reflect how they truly feel.

"David is extremely competitive. I remember in the church ball he was called for a foul. It was at the end of the game, which was close, and he was called for reaching... just some tic tac call. He got really upset. If memory serves me correctly he said some obsinties." - Brandon B. (Church basketball coach, mentor)

"One time we were playing 'Catch Phrase', and Dave said part of the phrase. I don't remember what it was, but he was called out on it. He got really upset. He didn't remember doing that. He spazed out. Left the room. I even think he slept outside that night." - Steven. (Younger Brother)

"When he was a sophomore he had a cast during most of the football season. To shed defenders, he would use his cast as a club. He used it to his advantage, that craziness to win." - Nate M. (High School QB)

"When he was little, we put him in a elementary basketball league. He always had his mouth wide open... just so intense.When he would box out kids, he would put all of his weight into them. He is one of the most competitive children we have" - Anne. (Mother)

Uhh.. I was a fierce competitor, but somehow, somewhere, I lost that fire. I have been trying to bring it back. I cheat during card and board games, but that hasn't translated to the playing field. I could care less. I listen to Lincoln Park, and still I don't get hyped. I'm back to B-League status-- the guys who play for fun. But games are not played for fun, we play them to win. I guess I gotta start drinking raw egg shakes in the morning, cause I don't recognize the face in the mirror.

Here is what I miss: Two thanksgivings ago, there was a huge flag football game. One of my teammates got an interception. I was running up the field, providing blocks for him. Mowgli was there. He was gaining on this dude from behind. I came in from Mowgli's right, he never saw me, and I put a ear-hole block on him. It wasn't hard, but it was a hit during flag football. I took out my best friend during a semi-competitive game, which was definitely a non-contact game.

A personal goal

despite my broken self, i have made a goal to do something really cool every day. for example: write a rap, record a rap, become a rapper... sorry for the tangent, but those are some really cool things. OR like make a dry ice bomb.

but the problem is why do i even write these posts... no one freaking reads them.