Be the Hammer

Where I currently work there are hammers all over the office. They are all ball pein hammers. Not that is significant. Just a detail. And the devil is in the details... Anyway, there are these hammers all over the office. In the conference room, my desk, and on the front couch. All over. There is even one that looks like a mini Thor hammer (which is not a ball pein hammer), but with an 1800's twist on it. So it really only looks like Thor's hammer in that it has a really square head.

I work for a technology software company. I don't work at welding shop. What's with the hammers?

Its an analogy my boss uses.

You see, people want to have nail guns. It's faster, more powerful, sleek, and efficient. However, most of the time people don't need a nail gun. People don't need one to build a bird house. People don't have the skill for a nail gun. It can be a little more technical. It really means go to work and roll up your sleeves. A lot of problems seem to work themselves out if you just go to work.

Buying Furniture

Phase I: Ideas

Excessive use of Pintrest, watching HGTV, and following bloggers. This is where the idea of what you want in your home will come from. This phase can last for months or even years and can overlap the other phases of buying. 

Phase II: Hunting

The internet promises cheap prices for just what you want, however, you must "showroom" shop. Once you see the actual product, you realize the quality is sub par. This is a frustrating phase as you thought you knew what you wanted is not easily found. 

Phase III: Reality 

There is a limit on a resource required to get that perfect home you wanted - it's called money. Its a tough pill to sallow. 

Phase IV: Anger 

Why the heck is furniture so expensive! 

Phase V: Quitting

You'll give into to buying something you actually don't like, but is cheaper, or do just the opposite. 

Goal Setting

S.M.A.R.T

S - specific
M - measurable
A - accountable
R - realistic
T - time bound

SMART goals...

This acronym is supposed to help you come up with and set quality goals. It's useful, if you like attaining goals.

Here is one of my goals - I want to lose 10 pounds by the end of the year. I am going to do that by 1) not drink soda for all of 2016 and 2) go to the gym three times a week

It is very specific. Its measurable. I told my wife - I am now accountable. It is time bound. BUT was it realistic?

I did not account for the lack of time I would have with a new baby and a wife that works.

More importantly, I didn't account for how much I like Coca Cola and lime. I love it. I craved it so much more knowing that I wasn't supposed to drink it. Which is probably why it tasted even better when I drank it just 20 days into the new year. It was special. It was as if I had drank it for the first time. All of that "goal setting" and "being discipled" was forgotten as quickly as I drank my first glass... and completely erased from my mind with the second.

I should also admit that I have yet to go to the gym three times a week. I am having a tough time determining if I have gone this year.

I can still read my three books by the end of the year. Start my family's food storage. There is still time, guys. Don't give up.

Being a Dad

“What is it like being a dad?”

I get that question or some version of that question fairly often. I am a brand new father and it is easy for someone to talk to me about it. Even if they don’t know me, it’s fair game. I get why people ask. Its as if I just grew a third arm out of my rib cage. People are (1) going to notice and (2) are going to ask. If I saw you on the street, with a third arm grown out of your side, I would definitely stare at you rudely and if we knew each other, and had talked about you growing this third arm nine months ago, I would be like, “Hey, what is it like being a person with a third arm?” You wouldn’t be thrilled to talk about it, mostly because everyone else has asked you and you know I don’t really care about your response. I am just asking to ask and remind you that you have a third arm, which is really strange. You’ll indulge me and say something like, “Its been an adjustment, but its been great!” with a fake smile on your stupid face.

However, my baby is not a third arm and I certainly didn’t grow her.

I feel ashamed as well when someone asks me. I haven’t been that great of a dad/husband. I feel bad about it. I do, but not bad enough that I have changed all that much… I would if my wife really needed me to, but she hasn’t told me to. And here in lies the problem. She won’t tell me. She will continue to carry this heavy burden alone until she can’t anymore.

Sure, sleep hasn’t been as great as it was, but I am not the one getting up at all weird hours of the night.

I really can’t complain at all about it; except the fact that we are kind of prisoners to our own home. It doesn’t help that the TV and Netflix is downstairs, which has that dungeon feel. What else is a family to do in the winter with a small child? I am not settling the west! Indoors is preferred, Sir!

Plus some really good shows are on!

Honestly, it has been great. It is hard, but it is great. The things you give up (friendships, freedom, late nights out, etc.) are no where near what you gain (…………. , ………….. , etc.).

I KID, I KID!

First, I have immense respect for my wife and mother. It is unbelievable what moms do. They are incredible creatures sent from above. There is no doubt that divinity is intertwined into the fabric of their soul. Secondly, to see your child grow, smile, even cry and burp is without question one of the most satisfying feelings. I had to have known my baby before this life, because there is no other way I could love her so much, so instantly.

Going from a L to an XL

I'm not gaining crazy amounts of weight. They are just slowly coming on. A little .3 there and a .004 in the morning, followed by a .1 in the night. Additionally, I have always had the frame for an XL shirt, but preferred to buy L because I never knew what an XL felt like... which feels awesome! My shirts actually fit and aren't too tight. I guess we all go through clothing phases. I had one where I want to look swoll all the time. Which was uncomfortable and dumb.

They're not smarter than you

Over a year ago, I was worried that I wouldn't get an internship. I was interviewing for a competitive position at a well known financial reporting company in San Francisco. I had some relevant experience, but I still felt like I was on the outsider looking in. I was competing against students from top-tiered schools from around the nation; students who knew (we will visit that again) more than me.

I was going over my resume and doing mock interviews with one of my older brothers one night. He could tell I was nervous - mostly because I told him about my lack of confidence. "They're not smarter than you," he told me. Even though I didn't understand that statement then it has stayed with me.

Even though I didn't get the job, I went much further in the process than I would have guessed and it was a invaluable experience for me for other upcoming competitive interviews.

I just started reading Malcolm Gladwell's book Outliers. The crux of his argument is that success is not based on working hard and being smart - most of it is circumstance and luck.

To me, success, however you want to define it, is gained by knowing how to get it. While I am focusing on getting a job in this post, I don't see why this principal is not true for other goals one may have.

I didn't know I didn't know what I didn't know. For instance, I thought if I worked hard, which I knew how to do, someone would find me and hire me. Like fair dust, my dream job would fall on me and I could then fly off to Neverland to my condo, better body, and car. Reality hit me when I was going door to door in the hot sun selling alarms and my peers were doing something I vaguely understood called 'internships'. It was said that these 'internships' would help students land their desired job. I then knew I didn't know what I didn't know before and the more I learned, the more I realized I didn't know what I needed to know.

I ventured into this internship world and got an internship; and got another one; and got another one. In each internship I heard stories from the people around me about their future plans. I interviewed at more competitive places. I talked to more professionals and heard their story. It was in an interview that it finally hit me with what my brother had told me.

I was in the financial district in San Francisco, overlooking the bay bridge from the third floor of a nice building, and I was sitting across from an associate at an investment bank. This was an informal interview; the one where they make sure you are worth their time. After he was done testing me and my answers seemed to appease him, I asked him to share his story. "How did you get here?" His story all made sense. It was logical. Good school to the right clubs to the right internship to the right first job, etc. But what really struck me is when he mentioned what his father and uncle did. His father was a venture capitalist and former banker and so was his uncle. He did the right things, he probably had some luck, but he did something similar to what his father did. That was his paradigm - he was going to be in finance. His father showed/told him how he would do it.

Since that meeting I have looked back at interactions I have had with people I thought were smarter than me and I realized that the majority were just normal people that had been exposed to different things than I had. I have met people that are smarter than me, it happens a lot, but I also meet people that are perceived smart and aren't; they just saw a world in a different way.

You need to be a hard worker. You need to be able to meet expectations. You need luck. You need to know your stuff. But you need to know what hoops to jump through. Whether that is networking or jumping on a plane to meet with a company you really like just to meet them.

what matters most

The other night or early morning, Liz's car was 'broken' into. She left her car unlocked, she's probably done it a thousands of times, but this time some jackass got her. Oops. I leave my car unlocked all the time, but who wants to get into a car that can't roll up its windows all the way? I beg people to break in and steal my oversized lime green sunglasses, an old golf tee, and some bite-sized umbrellas. And unlike me, Liz has things people want. Her wallet, shoes, glasses (who steals prescription glasses?), cash, scriptures, journal, and stethoscope.

We didn't realize it until about noon. She called me asking if I had seen her church bag and I hadn't. She searched her house and then came over to my house. It was weird. I just felt like it would turn up, but it didn't. She felt violated and angry. What surprised me is what she was most upset about, her scriptures and journal. I don't know why it did, but of all the things that she really cared about was her scriptures that she's had since she was eight. It was a good reminder of what is really important. Not the material things of the world.

However, we could've used the "Trunk Monkey"

ALSO - If you haven't heard or you want to know more about the awesome organization I am apart of, give it a read here. Pretty awesome.

Life

This is a pretty good analogy about life.