when we get the NBA back, we need latin announcers.

Watch. Understand. Believe.


We need this kind of commentating.


I mean, seriously. Who cares what sport they are watching, they should commentate on our lives.

October Game

Trick-or-Treat. It's funny how that has become a statement, not a question. I wish kids had to do some trick in their felt buzz lighteryear costumes, then I could shut the door and eat the fun size snickers.

Location: College computer labs or a library

Option A: Turn off the monitors of the computers.
Result: Very funny watching people click the mouse over and over again, then move to another computer.

Option B: Make sure the computer has output speakers, or enable them. Turn up the volume as loud as you can.
Result: People broadcasting their music and videos. Uh-oh.

Option C: Talk really loud about uncomfortable things. OR make outlandish and embarrassing accusations about your friends or people around you.
Result: Make everyone feel awkward.

Option D: Fart. Do it. Do it. Do it.
Result: You will be ostracized from the academic community.

Head Nod.

Remember when the head nod was THE way to say hello. I think even girls were head nodding each other. "Sup". Then like all things, it went away. It was the perfect salutation. You could look at another person, without really knowing them, and give them that nod. You were saying, "If I knew you, we'd be tight." or even, "Yo. Morning." The possibilities of interpretations are endless.

Despite its lack of common usage today, the nod is thriving. Ask Mowgli. Not only does he get free deserts when he asks, he gets the head nod. It's like he is part of a fraternity, a brotherhood. No matter where he goes, one of his brothers notice him and let him know, "Hey. What up, son? Ya alright? Just checking, you know. Wanna make sure you're okay." All of that is plainly expressed in a single motion of the head and neck. Awesome. I wish I had that kind of earned respect. People nodding 'yes' to me all day. People just super concerned with how I am.

Respect is earned, right. So, I've been on the street, earning. Justin Timberlake brought sexy back (Caleb Jones) I am going to bring the nod back.

Intellectualism

People in college are so smart and involved. So much so, that the tagging on bathroom stalls and desks have become another avenue to broadcast political thoughts. For example, I saw a tag on the back of a desk chair that read, "Angry about high gas prices? Do something about it." That really got me fired up. I wanted to do something so badly, but what? They should have given me some suggestions.

I decided to join the occupy Salt Lake City protest... I didn't end up going... Didn't have a tent or a guitar.

I am just so grateful for the people who take it upon themselves to write little inspirational questions and philosophical ideas on surfaces.

Does it really make a diff?

I'm going to pull a Thoreau here and preach from my soap box, and be really pompous. BTW, the dude was a total douche.

Abbreviating words that do not need to be abbreviated is slothful. Are we so tied up with time that we really have to drop the last syllable when we talk? Not to exagg, but the only person who can drop off the last syllable is a man with a rope squeezing the life out of him. Wait, OR, Taylor Launter.Who has the gall, the audacity, the nerve to do that? A snooki. 

inept of reality.

"She thinks she is way hotter than she is." This was a profound statement made by Vance, well over a year ago, that has branded itself into my understanding ever since. The girl (who will not be named, but I'll tell you if you text and ask me...) was pretty, no doubt, but she had this ego that didn't quite seem to fit. She had this misplaced sense of self, that could be filed under, "my poop doesn't stink." Which is absurd to begin with. Who has a cabinet with a file title like that?

I still haven't found a universal phrase to explain the paradox, of a person thinking they are more attractive than they are.. But then again, it's really hard to know. So, I googled it. I searched, "celebrities that think they are hot." I found some good lists, but I think the best one is 'Snooki,' off of Jersey Shore. I've never seen Jersey Shore. I do not really want to see the show. I do not understand why someone would want to see the show. I don't think it would be a good show, but from the little that I do know about the show, Snooki is a great fit. In fact, I'm coining the phrase, "She is totally a Snooki." Actually, that sounds a little fop. Maybe just say she is a 'Snooki'; or 'Snookish'; or maybe, 'Snooki Snook'? You get it. 

Women are Snooki's, Men are ball-flexors.