Man, Eff the police.

I mean it. Eff da police. All of them are power hungry, rude, non contributing zeros. They are people who just gave up on their dreams. Kids do not want to grow up and be a traffic cop. Unless they get off on being an ass. Should have just been a customer service rep for Verizon. Interesting fact, Cops always have terrible credit. Idiots, they'll never qualify for a mortgage. Another fact, they always have small packages. Cops are just a bunch of mouth breathers. It's not like I can just come into their normal life and be like, "Hey man, what you are doing, with that mustache and wife beater, it's against the rules. HEY! HEY! Don't talk, I am in control. Don't make me flex my nuts." Final fact, they have such large heads and smell of BRUTE.

That was a little harsh. They do a lot for us; they keep the peace, pretend to care, keep people from speeding. I know. I just don't get the hostility to people who are not rude to them. I.E. me. I get pulled over so much that I think I deserve a "frequent stopped card". It's sabotage man. I am a vet. I've been through their bogus routine so much, that I have my registration, licence, and proof of insurance as I pull over to the side of the road.

I love their line of questioning when they come up to the window. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Wait, is that rhetorical. Like, you actually want a response. Ummm, yes. Yes I do. Then, after I have stated that I do in fact know that I was breaking the law, they repeat back to me what I did. Thanks officer, but I am not the one that is going to have to fill out paper work. 

"Get your licence, insurance, and registration." Please maybe? Just once, in your life, be polite. Oh, that's too hard. You should have been a lunch lady then. And why the heck are you standing so far back from the window. You can clearly see I have no weapon in or around my lap.

Then they do that whole "let's wait in the car" line of B.S. 

Really dude/butch? I know that it takes you .5 seconds to find out that I have nothing on my record. Is this a 'timeout' or something? Okay, fine, I'll put my nose into the steering wheel and think about what I have done. Just give me a spanking next time. Timeouts are for girls. 

They come back to the car and pretend to be all cool cause they "reduced" the ticket. And here I am, thanking THEM! I just have to bend over and take it cause I don't want to have to literally bend over in county. I say "Officer" and "Oh. Thanks," just to cover my bases. I wish I could be forthcoming and say, "You just ruined my day. I hope one of your kids is allergic to peanuts and falls into a bathtub full of peanuts. Or better yet, I hope someone tapes your eye lids shut with permanent tape," (but seriously, how frustrating. AHH I can't get this tape off! And its @#!$&*# tape!). 

It makes sense... if you don't think about it.

In the movie Se7en, Brad Pitt asks Kevin Spacey, who portrays a serial killer, "When someone is insane, as clearly you are, do you realize how crazy you are?"

I think we are all on the edge of craziness. Its just a matter of time. Some call it dementia. That begs the question, are we going to realize that our minds have warped into a bucket of sludge.

Po Po 5 O

Babylon. Pigs. Troll. Constable. Whatever you call em, they suck, and Cedar is full of them. They are just patrolling around, taking a bite outta crime... right. I am sure they are. Let me give you some examples of how much safer the streets are now because of them.

A late evening, two young men long board down an empty road. Red and Blue lights flash. The Officer writes them out a ticket. A ticket?! For what? Upgraded j-walking.

The brake light fully functions, however one of the back lights has a piece broken out. The horn blows. The driver pulls over, cursing under his breath. "I am warning you," says the uniform.

Headlights are broken out... which can be dangerous... if the vehicle was driving in heavy traffic. But it's 2 in the morning, not even the stray cats are up. Fog lights aren't good enough. The driver is feet away from his home, when he sees the blinding lights flash. After his license and registration is taken, a second bacon stain arrives. The additional backup flashes his lights throughout the car.

Remember John Stossel on 20/20? He had that segment, "Give me a break!" Well, John, it is time to come out of retirement and give us a break. Light a fire underneath these fools. Why at night do I drive slower than an old lady? Cause you have to believe that every car is policia! We drive in fear. Fear of our protectors! That is whack.

Shaggy Ft. Sizzla and Collie Buds: It a mad mad world.